Username: Alive-Man
Real name: Sean Robert Atkins
Birth: April 1, 1992
Registration: June 19, 2005

Alive-Man was born, or rather created, on April 1, 1992. He was originally planned as an April Fool's joke on an elderly man, intended to cause a fatal blow to the old man's heart. Once his mission was complete, Alive-Man was programmed to self-destruct. However, he was a super computer, and like all computers, he eventually had a serious malfunction, preventing his self-destruction after completing the mission. The malfunction did cause Alive-Man to accidentally fall from great height, which caused him potentially lethal damage and knocked him out cold.

When Alive-Man awoke again, it was June of 1994. Alive-Man was a newly-born humanoid, discovering the true world for the first time. It was at this time that he decided to enroll at Clown College, to be taught how to be a true human. He flunked out of Clown College, one of his teachers remarking, “Alive-Man, you don't got the stones!”

After leaving college, Alive-Man gave up on learning how to be a human being, resorting to becoming a drifting salesman, specializing in china plates. Life, to him, had lost all meaning. He carried on his dull career for an unknown length of time, his name bobbing out of obscurity in June of 2005.

On June 19, 2005, Alive-Man joined EoFF. Months later, he met an escaped mental patient; this poor soul welcomed Alive-Man to EoFF and made sure he settled in. He was named Shoden. Later, a drifter by the name of GunBladeMaster came and taught these two how to get into a heck of a lot of trouble. Alive-Man, still a fledgling and easily impressionable spammed terribly with these two, spam that was neither funny nor amusing.

Eventually, they went too far.

Many believe that GunBladeMaster was banned while confronting Primus Inter Pares, though this was not strictly true. Alive-Man, Shoden and GunBlademaster came upon a newbie thread while browsing the Eyes on Final Fantasy forums. Nothing out of the ordinary; newbies made threads quite frequently in those days. Events progressed, and, before you knew it, the three were having whole conversations about completely random things in the thread, something which is strictly forbidden in EoFF. Leeza deleted some twenty of more of their spam posts in that thread, and let them off with a warning. But GBM, having never posted anything of relevance to EoFF before, was not going to get off lightly. It was his last straw, was the collective opinion of the staff. GBM was banned, at that time the ban lift was scheduled to be never, although rules have since changed and GBM will be unbanned someday, in the not too distant future.

In a rather colourful Live Journal entry, Primus Inter Pares complained bitterly of these three hellions, dubbing them “The Terrible Three”. He complained of how he was always getting Drunk Tanked, warnings and such for minor offences, while two of these spammers walked free. Primus was not out of line.

After reading the entry, GBM was infuriated, creating the infamous second account I am not Primus Inter Pares. You can view the official account here.

Shortly after GunBladeMaster's banning, though not essentially because of it, Alive-Man turned to the Darkside. Tempted by Shoden, who had become a Sith Lord, Alive-Man became Darth Ultimortal. His spamming got out of control - still no quality there, and he became somewhat of a different person. It was at this time that he and Shoden met a headbanging madman named Venom, now known as Arucard. He came to rescue Alive-Man and Shoden from the pits of darkness, and they began to grow into real party animals, sharing their knowledge and trying to bring more people in need of saving into their group of madmen. Eventually the group disbanded, and Alive-Man became himself once more. It was around this time that he met the commander of hatred, Christmas, who would forever change his life. In times of need Alive-Man allies with Shoden, the source and start of the events that had changed Alive-Man into the great man he is now, to wreak havoc, along with Arucard.

BTW Alive-man enjoys long walks on the beach, and is rumoured to have worked in a squid factory with Arucard.

It might be interesting for the reader to note at this point, that Alive-Man has the uncanny ability to METAMORPHOSE his name. Namely (no pun intended) into the terror-striking pseudonyms of Sean-Man and Alive-Sean. Sean-Man-Alive-Sean also has an insatiable lust for that which reeks of blood and gore and little kittens…namely, the dreaded Battle Royale Manga.

On the third of September 2006, Shoden was banned from EoFF. The reason for his banning was this thread, which, if you'll take the time to read, was inspired by the signature Alive-Man had at the time. Shoden's banning technically makes Alive-Man the last remaining member of “The Terrible Three”. Shoden was banned by Psychotic, long time mentor of Alive-Man.

“He left it in the garden for 4 months. I believe that this you is a newbie first.I I am deeply sad for incommodity. Meaning is inconsiderately this wellcome of the note of the user you in EOFF as me to load i-wellcomediapers. Me, that they are man living. Or Darth Ultimortal. I cross straight-line two nowdays as hotbath. They wait inconsiderately, even so you aprecíe its sojourn in EOFF. as you you, tschuess!”