:: Unsafe Ideas ::
The Story of the Planet's Last Days
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~* I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person, my good spammers. *~

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Chapter Two: The Big Trippy Quasi-Evil Force

*~*

    The scary little girls decided to do something different for once. Their normal routine was so redundant. 'Slap the baby, breakfast, bicker, lunch, video games, dinner, dessert, interpretive prancing, more dessert, bed. Slap the baby, breakfast, bicker, lunch, video games, dinner, dessert, interpretive prancing, more dessert, bed.' It was really quite boring. So, they snuck out of their elephant anatomy class and ran off to hurt people. Jolly good fun, hurting people was.

*~*

    Britt walked out of the school building, headed for the Tech Ed building. He hated Tech Ed. Today, he intended to 'accidently' cause a table saw to fly off its safety guards and cleave someone's arm off. That'd be fun. As he turned the knob of the Tech Ed door, something very hard hit the back of his head. Spinning around in fury, Britt found himself face to face with two girls about his age. The interesting thing about these girls was that they were carrying iron baseball bats.
  "Why in the HELL did you do that?!" Britt demanded. His eyes flickered. The little girls were uneffected. They thought it was pretty neat.
  "Oooh, kewlie.. he has ace eyes." said one.
  "Hiyee, yoop!" the other cried joyfully, staring at his eyes.
  "You're supposed to be running in terror right about now." Britt pointed out.
  "Pfft!!!" the second little girl spat. "Whoiy would moi evaire be afreed of a kewlie little dop like yoop?"
  "I like you." Britt said.
  "This tis' boring, Jojee. I'm gonna go swack othaire ppls." the first said.
  "Whatevaire, DDDDD!" Jojee replied.
  "I'm gonna be late for Tech Ed, 'yoop'." Britt told Jojee, struggling on the "yoop" part.
  "I'll come with yoop. I'm veri kew' in Tech Ed. =DDD" she offered. Britt shruged.

    Apparently, she WAS quite " kew' " in Tech Ed. In under three minutes, Jojee had injured 15 people with 7 various carpentry tools. Britt and Jojee were both promptly thrown out. Not ones to obey orders, especially when they involved principal's offices, Jojee and Britt made their way to the grocery store a few blocks away.

*~*

    "It's 9 AM, Snizz. Michael Jackson will be wanting his breakfast cereal any time now." Asorie reported.
  "I know that, woman!" Snizz yelled back at her, pretending that he really did know that. "Hand me the poison."
  Asorie handed a bottle labeled "Listerine Mouthwash" to Snizz carefully. Gently opening the knob, Snizz added the mouthwash to Jackson's sour milk. Sneaking out of the house quietly, Snizz and Asorie scampered gleefully back to the TV Store to watch the morning news, and hopefully news of Michael Jackson's demise.

*~*

    Scott and Erika were happy, happy people. They owned the Pig Farm. The pig farm was one of the biggest businesses on the face of the planet. Don't ask why, it just was. So, the two were really quite rich. Their favorite helper, Assistant Pig Farmer Cid was a rich man. They payed him $100 an hour to do exactly what all good pig farmers do. Yell "Dinnertime!" for the pigs. That's all he had to do. They'd make him stand on a line, and scream it over, and over. "Dinnertime!" "Dinnertime!" "Dinnertime!". After three months, Cid was the best yeller in Scott's Knights. But Cid is not important. Vice Assistant Chickencha is. He was very important. Why? Because he sits in the corner. Chickencha, needless to say, is the best sitter in Scott's Knights.

*~*

    Snizz and Asorie stood outside the TV store, staring at the TVs. They eagerly awaited news of thei victory. Something in the difference, however, caught their attention. Asorie knew at once. That was the unmistakable sound of Yoop Talk.
  "Why aire we going to teh grocery stoaire?" a girl's voice asked.
  "Why not?" a male vocie replied.
  "Kew'.." the female voice said in return. Snizz recognized the boy. That was none other than Britt. He knew him. Somehow. Britt and Jojee stopped at the TV Store. For some reason. Just let me get on with the bloody story.
  "In today's news..." began the annoying voice of Newscaster BOU, "Michael Jackson was found dead at his residence this morning. officials say this was caused by mouthwash entering his mouth. In ad- Er, this just in. Authorities are on the lookout for four teenagers. Del Snizz, Angelia Asorie, Britton Kay, TifaL Bug are all suspected to be somehow linked with some crime no one has every heard of, and are considered not-exactly-dangerous. The four exchanged worried glances.
  "Somehow, this all makes sense. I'm sure it does." Snizz reassured them. They decided to take his word for it.

*~*

    "I think Rirse is freaky." Kawaii said dully as he and Rydia exitted Rirse's office.
  "Good god, he's almost as freaky as Greg Brady, 'Kishi." Rydia replied.
  "I must disagree, sugarplum. I think Greg Brady is the Antichrist."
  "You may be right. But still, I think we should kill him."
  "Good plan. You get the rocket launcher."
  "And you get the tissue."


"I find glowing eyes to be quite sexy."