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01.22.01 Chapter Four Added. 01.21.01 Chapter Three Added. 01.21.01 Errors fixed in Chapters 1-2 01.20.01 Rydia Fiction Project Dropped |
Snizz Fiction
The story of Earth's Last Days
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:: Unsafe Ideas ::
The Story of the Planet's Last Days ___________________________________ ~* Drex is the best proofreader in Cid's Damsels. *~ ___________________________________ Chapter Three: The Big Trippy Quasi-Evil Force x2 *~* Rocket Launchers tend to be rather heavy. Tissues usually are not. But Kawaii's tissue was a very, very special tissue. It was not like normal tissues. It had teddy bear designs on it. "Load the rocket launcher!" Rydia screamed as she stood three meters behind Rirse. Rirse did not notice. Reluctantly, Kawaii jammed the tissue into the rocket launcher. "Fire!" they screamed simutaneously as the tissue blasted forth at Rirse. It fluttered harmlessly to the floor about a foot behing him. Rydia and Kawaii cursed. "It didn't kill him!" Kawaii said loudly. Rirse still did not notice. *~* Snizz jumped in the driver's seat of the enormous 89' Chevy car majig. Asorie, Jojee, and Britt all buckled their seat belts. They realized that they probably wouldn't do much good with Snizz behind the wheel, but oh well. Turning the key, (which was conveniently in Snizz's possession) Snizz started the old junker. Speeding down the interstate, these four teenagers were headed to Washington D.C. For what purpose? To clear their names, of course! Little did they know, when they got in that car, Little Orphan Annie's life changed forever. Somehow. Their lives also changed. A little bit. Ruling the world tyrannically wasn't that big a stretch for any of them. *~* Rirse had a very large airplane. He liked riding in it. Kawaii and Rydia did not. This trip was at least a little interesting, though. They were headed to Washington D.C. to poison George W. Bush. This left them very much to time to this. Washington D.C. and Rirse's Evil Wonderland of Undisclosed Location were quite far away from each other, after all. "I'm rather disappointed by the rocket launcher failure." Rydia said, still holding the rocket launcher. "We could always murder the pilot in cold blood and let the plane crash." Kawaii offered. "As fun as that sounds, my delectable love-pancake, it would kill us as well." Rydia informed him. "How about getting a real rocket in D.C. and blasting him with THAT?" Kawaii asked. Rydia stared at him blankly. "You are a genius, my pet." she told him. Kawaii purred happily. *~* Vice Assistant Pig Farmer Chickencha stood up. A great evil was at work. He could tell. Princess Usa was making waffles. That was always a bad omen. Chickencha collected his pointy-stick and his assortment of steamy romance novels, and ran off into the sunset. *~* DragonsRage was a talented little girl. Emerald Aeris was also a talented little girl. They were sisters. And they were very cute. But, right now, no one cares about them. *~* George W. Bush straightened his tie. "How do I look?" he asked one of his aides. "Like hell." he told him bluntly. "Thank you! =D" "Sure thing, sir." The aide went back to playing ping-pong with Tipper Gore. Looking in the mirror once again, George smiled and started making out with his reflection. Tipper and the aide watched in horror. "Umm... sir?" the aide asked. No reply. "You really shouldn't do that. The conference starts in 20 minutes." "He'll be done by then." came George's reply as he squealed with delight. The aide decided not to share this with Mrs. Bush. *~* Al Gore was an evil little dop. Concealing the gigantic grenade launcher in his pants, he awaited Bush's speech. This would be a night which would go down in history. *~* Kawaii and Rydia peeked from behind the curtains. George Bush's address about Michael Jackson would be given from the stage they stood on. Their eyes locked on the four teenagers standing in the front row. Rydia pointed at Britt. "Look! The shinigami child!" she exclaimed. Kawaii seemed to be in a lull. "I find glowing eyes to be quite sexy.." he muttered. Rydia shuddered. A lot. Her attention shifted to Snizz. *~* Standing on Britt's shoulders to see, TifaL screamed as George Bush walked out on the stage. Britt promptly flung her off his shoulders. "My fellow Americans." he began. He didn't get much farther than that. Without warning, Rirse hopped out of stage, flanked by Kawaii and Rydia. Al Gore fired his grenade, missing horridly and exploding Rirse. As Rirse fell, Rydia launched the rocket. It flew over the falling Hemidemisemi-God's head, ripping through George Bush. Al Gore suddenly spontaneously combusted. Dick Cheney had a heart attack. The speaker of the house inexplicably fell from a balcony in Topeka, Kansas. A small crop dusting plane crashed Siberia. People all over Washinton D.C. screamed in terror. Kawaii and Rydia descended the steps from the stage, and walked over by Snizz. "Would you like to be the ruler of the world?" Rydia asked suddenly. "What about the President Pro Tempore?" he offered. "We've decided that it's in the best interests of the American people that he NOT be President." Rydia told him. "Besides, it is your destiny to rule the world. My Rice Krispies said so." Kawaii said. "Fine, then." Snizz sighed. "But I find it disturbing that a shapely male secretary and a perfectly proportioned woman with a rocket launcher are telling me this." TifaL piped up. "Can I kill somebody?" "Of course! We're the bad guys, after all." Kawaii told her. "We're the bad guys? Ace.." Britt breathed. *~* The Del Snizz regime became the most feared administration in the world. With a single action, Snizz and his underlings disbanded the entire United Nations, proclaiming Snizz to be the Grand-High-Supreme-Potentate-God-Guy of The Planet. The five terrible children (Britt, TifaL, Asorie, Kawaii, and Rydia) formed the Big Trippy Quasi Evil Force, Snizz's right-hand group of death. Nothing could stand against Snizz. Except for that meddling Pig Farmer. Preview of Chapter Four: "Does anyone else find this profoundly ridiculous?" "Super-Pretty-Miracle-Power-X!" "My sword is bigger than yours." |