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01.22.01 Chapter Four Added. 01.21.01 Chapter Three Added. 01.21.01 Errors fixed in Chapters 1-2 01.20.01 Rydia Fiction Project Dropped |
Snizz Fiction
The story of Earth's Last Days
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:: Unsafe Ideas ::
The Story of the Planet's Last Days ___________________________________ ~* And thus God created toe jam, and He said "This is good." *~ ___________________________________ Chapter Four: The Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swingers Club *~* "Moo!" the great warrior Drex screamed as he charged the people clad in black trench coats. His sword glistened under the streetlights. The two trech-coated figures turned to face him, their eyes shielded by dark, black sunglasses. They were clad entirely in black, though that's not saying much, as they weren't clad very much in the first place. The lead black-coat, a perfectly-proportioned woman, nodded to her cohort as Drex drew near. The other black-coat reached into his pocket. He withdrew a tissue. Drex's eyes went wide with terror, rolling to the back of his head. The hapless warrior fell to the ground lifelessly, his sword clattering loudly to the pavement. "..what just happened, cupcake?" Rydia asked. "I drew my tissue, of course!" Kawaii exclaimed gleefully. "And that kill him.. how?" Rydia inquired. "I'm not certain, but this is Snizz Fiction. Anything can happen." he replied with a shrug. "You have a point. After all, where else does one find a bozo like that?" she asked, gesturing at Drex, who was sprawled out on the concrete as though he'd done a face-first spread eagle from that top of a chair. "I'd really rather NOT think about that." Kawaii told her blankly. *~* "We have captured Djibouti and Ymen with little trouble, sir." Britt said with a salute, as he stood at attention before a giant black desk and a towering leather chair with its back to him. Asorie stood beside him, standing at a similar attention. "Excellent." Snizz's voice came from the chair. "That will help our cause greatly. Somehow." Asorie spoke this time. "Snizz, that meddling pig farmer and those cute little girls may pose a threat." she informed him. "Not without the fourth child, they won't." Snizz replied omniously. Britt and Asorie exchanged worried glances. "You haven't been in Temple Knight's blood pressure medicine again, have you, Snizz?" Asorie asked. "Of course not!!" Snizz screamed defensively. *~* In that one place, which wass interestingly enough in Zimbabwe, lived two cute little girls named Emerald Aeris and Dragons Rage. Their parents were freaky, freaky buggers, who enjoyed names like those. "My sword is bigger than yours." said Emerald Aeris, who I will now and forever call "Elyse". "I don't even have one." DragonsRage replied. "Hah!" Elyse shouted loudly, for some reason. "There you have it!" "Pfft!" DragonsRage shouted. "I have a spork!" She pulled the spork out of her pocket. "Oooo..." they both said in awe, as the lovely miracle of modern nonsense glimmered in the sun. *~* Chickencha was quite good at sitting in the corner, but he was rather good at sitting just about any place else, too. With that in mind, he sat down in the middle of the Wal-Mart parking lot and fell asleep. Temple Knight just so happened to be at Wal-Mart that day, buying things for large amounts of money that I'd care not to discuss. As he stepped out the door, he noticed Chickencha sitting in the middle of the parking lot, and the seven car pile-up as a result of his sitting. Never one to pass up a good oppurtunity such as this, TK dashed up to Chickencha, and swiftly kicked him directly in the nuts. *~* The two little girls sat staring at the spork. Staring.. staring.. "Believe the carrot.." a comforting voice said in their heads. "Believe the carrot... as carrots are your savior.." The two turned and stared at each other. "Believe the carrot." Elyse mummbled. "Yes.. the carrot is true.." DragonsRage babbled. They knew there was only one thing to do. They had to save the world from the enemies of the carrot. Standing as if in a trance, they gathered their belongings and headed into a brave new world. It was called their "backyard." *~* TifaL's face was full of strain. She pointed her stick viciously at the hamster, straining even harder. The hamster blinked. "Super-Pretty-Miracle-Power-X!" she screamed. "Super-Pretty-Miracle-Power-X!" The hamster turned around, seemingly waving it's cute little rodent butt at her, and walked into its little hamster-house. TifaL's shoulders dropped with exhaustion. "Pfft. Whoiy will moiy kewlie majigs work on yoop, dop!?" she screamed after the hamster. She awaited a responce. *~* Chickencha's eyes bulged out as TK delievered the painful kick. With a howl of pain, he screamed. "CARROTS!" TK stared at him with a blank look on his face. "Carrots." Chickencha repeated himself calmly, as if nothing ever happened. "..um?" TK mumbled. "You just don't get it, do you?" Chickencha asked impatiently. "Nope." TK told him bluntly. Chickencha sighed. *~* "Does anyone else find this profoundly ridiculous?" Snizz asked, turning in his chair to face his Big-Trippy-Quasi-Evil Force. "Not especially." Asorie told him. "That's good to know." Snizz replied. "Um.. sir? Jojee has a question." gesturing at the girl beside him. TifaL was hopping about, flailing her arms in the air wildly. "What?" Snizz asked patiently. "Why doesn't moiy hamstaire explode whe I tell him toooo?" she asked innocently. Snizz gasped. "You've given me a brilliant idea." he said. "What's that, Snizz?" Rydia inquired. "Carrots." he said plainly. The Big-Trippy-Quasi-Evil Force's faces were covered with devilish grins. They had to have them surgically removed. Preview of Chapter Five: "Nothing happened between that carrot and I!" "It does not seem to want to stand erect, sir!" "Orange is not becoming of you, my dear snickerdoodles." |